PIECES OF SEPTEMBER

It’s been a month since I last posted an article. I feel kind of guilty about not being consistent enough with the blog. It’s been years since the first article was published, and even with its ups and downs, I’ve always kept posting, whether I felt like it or not. I’ve taken breaks when I needed them, but this time, it’s simply been because I couldn’t find the right time to create something that felt right.

Since I started putting together these pieces about what each month has been like, I’ve always begun the month with some kind of plan for what I’d like to share. Nonetheless, I never quite stick to it and end up pulling real moments from my camera roll. Which, don’t get me wrong, feels more genuine, but still not close enough to what’s in my head.

I always finish the month with the feeling that I should have gone out more, done more things, experienced something new… But what is it about me that always finds calm in routine, in the predictable, in a safe place, even though I usually tend to step outside of it? Let’s just say it’s because I’m a Virgo.

This month, as cliché as it sounds, felt like a fresh start. Like going back to school when we were kids, just with the little difference that this September, I wasn’t only starting a new grade. I’d changed schools completely. I’ve written about my path in retail before, but I’ve never really gone deep into it. I spent the past seven years of my life managing stores, spaces and people, convincing myself that it was something I enjoyed. When, in reality, more than enjoying it, I was just good at it, or at least able to do it.

I made peace with it by constantly telling myself that this was going to be my career path. That sometimes you can’t do “what you wanna do” and have to do what you gotta do. And once again, I was okay with it. I find comfort in doing things as well as I can, and that was what I was doing. Writing and creating kept me close to what I called a hobby for two years. Even when opportunities came along, they were mostly proof to myself that I could actually do it. A reason to stay consistent and keep expressing myself, I guess.

Until now, when I’ve managed to turn that hobby into something I can earn a living from while continuing to create. The blog will always be the most special part of this work to me, but lately, I’ve been focused on creating for Instagram, which has left me with less time to do it here.

I still think about this space a lot, though. About what I’d like to write, what feels worth sharing, and how it might fit into this new routine. Maybe I’m still figuring out what that looks like.